A New Year!

2012 is ending in less than an hour. Its going to be 2013. And I haven't made any resolutions. So what better way to make them by plasting them on my amateur blog? 

Let's see...What do I want to accomplish in 2013 that I haven't managed to do the past few years? I think my number one priority, is to make sure I do all my prayers everyday, read the Quran, give charity, and...just be a good muslim! Okay I REALLY want to succeed in that resolution. I want Allah to be proud in me, at the person I am. Because being a perfect muslim..requires a lot of dedication. But thats who I wanna be. Although I'm not wearing the hijab yet, I hope to in the near future.  

Next.

I'd like to...change. I've always been something of a nerd. Its happening in college too. Slightly short sleeved baju kurung, red and white satchel which is yellowing, a 4 year old pair of pink glasses, and now..chubby cheeks. The worst. I have to lose weight, and fast. My clothing style needs a change too. Also, I'm thinking of braces. Need to get those-ahem-pearly whites all nice and straight!

Hmm..


What else eh...oh yeah. Try and be more friendlier. Be more active in debating. Work hard in college. And above all... 

Spend more time with my brother.

I guess I haven't said anything about him till now. He's an autistic child. But we love him no matter what. He comes up with all sorts of things which make us mad sometimes. But he is our responsibility. I'd NEVER give him up for anything. I never spent much time with him ever since I left for college. But all that is gonna change in a while. 

Yeah, new year resolutions! At least I have them written down somewhere. But wait. Is telling everyone your reolutions sort of like a jinx? Like you can't tell anyone your birthday wish..

..nah.

Happy New Year Everybody!

Bucket List

I haven't really planned it out yet, but I've got a few ideas in mind :

1) Perform hajj in Mecca

2) Do something really amazing, that will make me proud to reflect on from time to time

3) Meet Tom Hiddleston, talk to him and get a picture with him ;) 

4) Go to Disneyland/Universal Studios 

5) Try the Worlds Largest Reese's peanut butter cups. 

6) Get something of mine published! 

7) Get married-

...

Is 'Getting Married' something that should be on the bucket list? I do want to get hitched someday, OBVIOUSLY before I die, so why shouldn't it be on the list?

Is it that the bucket list is meant for things which are 'once-in-a-lifetime-hard-to-do' stuff?
If it is, then number 7 is definitely on my list.

Let me explain. I don't appear as 'attractive', 'hilarious', 'witty', 'intelligent', 'kind', 'bold', 'thoughtful' or ANYTHING to anyone. The only thing I might be thought of is that my race is of foreign or mixed with other races. Everyone's their worst critic, says my friend Bunny. Well, here's my criticism on myself. I see me as a quiet, awkward, never-speaks-until-spoken-too person. I think people see me that way, and that's not the worst part. I try to be friendly, but somehow I feel that it comes across as FAKE to others. I find myself constantly laughing or smiling widely whenever people around me do their best to impress others with their wit and humour, even though it isn't funny to me in the first place. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!   

Why do I do that? To fit in of course. To be part of the crowd. But UNFORTUNATELY, it ain't working the way I hoped it would. If it did, I'd have more friends than I actually DO. Hence by not possesing any of these great qualities, I can't be noticed by anyone. To get someone's attention on me is a VERY. Hard thing to do.

So you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna make them notice me. Thats right. If they can't notice me I'm gonna have to try harder to BE noticed. But I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not. I just have to change my ways. Try and gussy up a little.

Speaking of gussying up, I made my blog better! Hahah I added music, which I've always wanted to do. The layouts just plain black, but I like it this way, for now. Welp, gotta hit the sack. Goodnight!

Well it can't get any worse... 

 

NEVER. EVER. UTTER THOSE WORDS. DON'T EVEN THINK IT!  


Okay. Yesterday was SUCH a bad day for me. I don't even know where to begin. But alright, here goes. 

Woke up late, around 8.30ish. Went to class. Right after class I hurried to my room. At approximately 2.00pm I left the room. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to go back and tie up some loose ends, then continued my journey to apply for my change of course. Made my way to the dept where I'm supposed to change. See I'm supposed to get the Head of Dept. stamp on ma form, then get the stamp from my own Dept. I've learned from my first experience that i HAVE to get the other Dept. stamp first. SO in I go into the dept., where I find a bunch of students waiting outside the Head's office. I'm all Okay, I'll wait. And as I get nearer, a girl notices me. I can see she's memorizing something off a piece of paper. I smile, you know, try and be all friendly like. This girl, not only does she not return the smile, but stares at me as if I was an human sized amoeba. Rude much? 

 I stood waiting outside her office for an hour, then the Head noticed me. She asked me to meet someone else whose office is at another place. Okay fine. I leave and make my way to the other office. And when I get there, I find out that she's ABSENT. So I trudge back to my room, defeated. On my way back I spot a few friends. One of them, whom I was close too, seemed a little off. She didn't look like she was happy with me. This was the part where I felt so bad. I just can't stand people having a problem with me, especially those closest to me. I buy my dinner, and return to my room. I spill half of it on the floor, and later on I realize I forgot to bring extra clothes for the next day, since I'm staying off campus. I wasn't going back yesterday because of debate practice.  

Therefore, yesterday was absolutely positively most definitely- 

One of the worst days of 2012.

To be or not to be..

My career plan is so messed up.  

I have been trying to switch courses just to escape my current one, which I absolutely despise. Allied Health Science. I mean, what was I thinking? I hated science in High School. Biology was the worst. No, scratch that. PHYSICS was the worst. All those formulas, and principles. Chemistry wasn't that bad, to be honest. But even so, I obtained B's for my science subjects and A's for the rest. You know, we've all had ambitions since we were small. Mine was the typical one; I wanted to be a doctor. 

 Now up until my SPM (Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia) I had never thought of anything else once. My dreams to be a doctor remained strong. It was only after encountering Biology was when I realized medicine would not be my forte. Then a friend suggested, "Why not become a pharmacist?" After my exams I began to do a lot of research regarding courses, especially Pharmacy. I thought Yeah, I like Chemistry. AND it has good job prospects. So why don't I give it a shot?  

I wasn't so lucky though. My first application was rejected. Why? Well just due to the fact that my chemistry wasn't a B. It was a B-.                                                          

 

So close, yet so far. I barely had any time to weep over it though. I had to submit an appeal, or else no college! I was allowed to put in TWO courses. SO, that's when I made a decision to put ALLHS, a decision I regret putting first, ahead of Economics. I have NO experience whatsoever in Econs, so I placed it 2nd. Needless to say I got ALLHS. At THAT moment, that feeling I had...was pure happiness. FINALLY, a letter saying I had been accepted for something! I was so excited, I bought all my things a day earlier. How exactly did I fare in the 1st week? That, my friends, is a another story entirely, which I will share next time. 

Back to my course. My subjects were Biology, Chemistry, and Arab Language. Let me tell you something. I.Sucked.Big Time.At all of them! Surprisingly, I flunked in Chemistry the most. I guess I couldn't handle all this new information which basically said, "Whatever shit you learned in school was wrong and simplified,so now taste the wrath of REAL Chemistry!!! NGMUAAAHAHAAAH!" Biology was more like, "Hey I'm back, and I've got LOADs more stuff for you to memorise. Oh and beside new chapters, you're gonna be re-learning the old ones, with added information! isn't that great?" and finally, Arab. "I'm new. And I'm gonna make sure you catch on MUCH slower than the rest. Got that?" And I tell you, the amount of stress was killing me.  

So when 1st sem ended, I applied for econs. To make a long story short, I applied on the deadline, went unprepared for the interview, and I didn't get it. Disappointment again. 2nd sem. I tried a different approach. English Communication sounded promising. So I met the head of department. Was told that the course was too full. They won't accept anymore students. At that point I was reaching the brink of insanity. 

 
A little while after that, I began to consider Mass Communications, and English. Which are referred to as Human Sciences and BEN respectively. Both are GOOD courses, I've done my research. I'll give you a brief outline. Bachelor's in English - you do language, literature and linguistics as subjects and you can go into teaching and media. Mass Comm - you do History, Psychology, Sociology & Anthropology, and you choose between electronic media, print media, and public relations. I'm gonna apply to change my course tomorrow.

So which should I pick? 

HS or BEN?

So my blog kinda sucks right now but I'll fix it. Eventually. 

Hmm lets see...yesterday was supposed to be the END OF THE WORLD according to the Mayans. I still don't know what a Mayan is, and probably never will. But it doesn't matter, because now everyone knows that it was all a false alarm. Now I know what you're thinking- I myself didn't believe it. No one knows when the world will end, except for God. But you can't deny that at one point in your life you asked yourself- is the world really ending?
Lets think about it. As Muslims we were taught that The Day where all creation will die will come, and we will meet our Creator. But when, exactly, is beyond our knowledge. We do know, however, the signs that will signify the end. BAsically, signs like a lot of bad stuff are happening, and I'm not just talking about natural disasters. War. The never ending feud between countries like Iraq-US, Palestine-Israel are strong examples. They never stop! Human beings are killed everyday. Killed. They are dead. Thousands of them. Just let that sink in for a minute. Their lives. Poof. Gone. You seriously have no HEART if you don't have a smidge of sympathy for them.WELL not literally, you'd die without one, What if that was YOU fighting for your life in that bloodbath? That could be us when the apocalypse arrives, I'm just saying. 

But ya know, as I said earlier...humans can't tell when the world will really end. So it'd be best if these people (not just the Mayans) stop coming up with 'end-of-the-world' prophecies. Recently I've come across a page claiming that the Mayans calculated wrong; its gonna happen in 2015. They're just so eager for the world to end, aren't they?  

Till next time.

A Noobs Journey

Hello, I'm making a blog! Pretty excited 'bout it too. I'm probably gonna write a lot of stuff that people don't give a dang about, but oh well. Things that are going on in my life. Things I wanna get off my chest. Things I think are worth posting about. Yup, that's basically what I'm gonna do. But I guess the main reason I'm making this post right now is because today's date is awesome ;) seeya!